Finally
by lilyandrufus
Summary: "[...] I waited for you for a while. I thought that maybe you were just taking a break, maybe you would come back. But you never did." A story set after Rufus and Lily's meeting on the first episode of Gossip Girl. A Rufly, Rufus/Lily fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hi! Another story, and I thinks this is my best yet. It's set after their meeting in the very first episode. Please review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl.

A month had passed.

They hadn't seen each other since they met for coffee, two days later after their gallery meeting.

Lily and Bart were over, she decided she just didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. At least, that's what she told Bart. Maybe, deep down, she wanted to be available because a certain _someone _had entered her life again. Maybe she expected something would happen with Rufus but she would swallow poison before she admit it. She tried not let that sensation of hope in her chest take over her. She tried to keep herself busy with decorating the penthouse and her kids. But it seemed that everything and everyone she looked at reminded her of him. The music played by cars that passed by her on the streets, the smell of his cologne as she passed someone in a shop, his son. She saw his son a lot now that he was dating Serena. He was good for her, she noticed. _Just like Rufus was for you_, she thought. She had to see him.

Lily heard Dan telling Serena that he and Jenny would spend the week in Hudson, with Allison. It was Friday, they had probably gone. She knocked on his door twice, not giving that any second thoughts. They had to speak eventually. Right?

He opened it, and looked surprised

"Lily... What happened?" he said, assuiming that if she came to Brooklyn something bad must have occured.

"Uhm, nothing. Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by. If you're not busy. I... I brought wine." She was a little embaressed. What _did_ happen? God she shouldn't have come. To her relief he managed that awkward situation very well.

"Oh, well. Come on in." He gestured with a smile. "I was just thinking on making some food. You can join me."

She thought on saying no, but something caught her from it. "Okay, I'd like that." She smiled.

After an hour and a half of laughing, cooking, eating and reminiscing, they were at the couch still drinking Lily's wine.

"God, I can't believe you remember that." He said between laughs. She admired the wrinkles next to his eyes and remembered how, over twenty years ago, his laugh would be the best think that she heard somedays. His goofy grin that could make her day a hundred times better, Just like now. She couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"Yes well, I would never let myself forget." She said before she could think.

She was flirting with him and they both knew it.

After a moment of silence, he looked away. She thought she saw glimpse of sadness in his eyes but maybe it was nothing. He finished his glass with one gulp and looked at the floor. For some reason, he could no longer look at her in the eye, which was very, very strange to Lily.

"A-Are you ok? Did I say something...-" He stopped her before she could say anything else.

"Why do you want from me?" He glanced at her, the admiration no longer in his eyes. This time she saw hurt, anger. She was not prepared for that question.

What could she possibly say? Why _did_ she want? _Him, Lily, you want him_, a voice in her head said.

"What? Rufus, I..." She trailed off.

"Why did you leave? Back then. Why did you leave me? What did I do?" His voice was firm but not raised. He did not sounded happy. On the contrary, he sounded hurting, irritated. Heartbroken, even.

"No. You don't get to do this, Rufus." Her shock had passed.

"Do what? Wanting to know why is it that I was left out from your life out of nowhere? I'm not letting you do that to me again, Lily. You..." he shaked his head. "You have no idea what I went though after you left."

She scoffed. "Oh please, you screwed a bunch of with women after I left and the worst part is that you married one of them." She got up from the couch with anger. Why didn't understand that it wasn't exactly a fun time for her either? Lily barely finished her sentence when Rufus spoke sharply:

"No, you wanna know what the worst part is? The worst part is that you didn't even say goodbye. You just didn't show up the next day or the next day." He too stood up and looked at her in the eye. "The worst part is that you didn't even tell me you were leaving. You were just gone." He whispered those last words. Their gaze never broke. "If you leave someone you have to at least tell them why, because what's more painful than being left is knowing you're not worth an explanation".Lily tried to speak, holding back tears but Rufus didn't let her, he was going to say to her everything that passed on his mind in the last twenty years. "And I waited for you for a while. I thought that maybe you were just taking a break, maybe you would come back. But you never did." His voice softened as he said those words but became full with rage again. "So don't try to make me feel guilty for moving on with my life when you were the one who walked away.

Lily felt a pain in her chest as soon as the words left his mouth. She should be mad at him, she thought. She hated to see him like that but she also hated him for not knowing why she had left. _How could he anyway?_ She knew that what she was about to say wasn't fair but she could not help it.

"Why didn't you come look for me then?" She said, a hint of rage in her voice. "If you loved me so much like you are saying why didn't you come look for me?" her voice raised. She didn't know what to do anymore, the pain she was feeling was the same as 20 years ago.

He looked at her as if she was insane. "What?" he asked, incredulous. He came closer to her and narrowed his eyes. "Every night I fell asleep with the thought of you and what I would say if you were there. I wanted to be angry but I couldn't, all I could think of was how much I missed you and what on earth I had done to make you leave." He had tears in his eyes, as did she. "Every morning I woke up in misery because you weren't there anymore. Don't you dare suggest I never loved you, Lily."

A tear scaped Lily's eyes but she quickly wiped it off. "I had to leave, Rufus. You have to understand." She didn't know what to say anymore.

"And you have to understand that I couldn't wait my whole life for someone that would never come back." He yelled.

"But I did! I'm here now." She sounded almost desperate.

"Exactly, and how can I be sure you won't walk away again?" Rufus said looking deeply in her eyes, trying to find an answer in them.

"You can't." she whispered. "And I can't either. But we have to try, Rufus. We have to try."

He broke their gaze and sat down on the couch again, defeated. There was nothing he wanted more than her, he knew that. He was just scared. He hadn't meant to be so harsh but that was how he felt. All the things he had told her were the result of twenty years without her. Then, he realized. He couldn't let himself go through that again.

Lily was now sitting in the couch too, looking at him expectant. Then, she saw him slowly look back at her. Anger no longer in his face. It was almost as if their argument minutes ago hadn't happened. She saw the loft around them turn black. It was as if there was the two of them, like it used to be. He leaned over and pressed his lips on hers. God, she had missed him. His soft lips, sucking on hers was a feeling she thought she would never experience again.

All Lily could think of was _finally. _

_Finally you're here._

**A/N: **What do you guys think?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Hey, here is the second chapter for Finally. Thanks for the reviews and favorites I really appreciate it. Hope you guys like it.

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and positioned herself so she was facing him. Rufus deepened the kiss with a hold on her waist, feeling the material of her shirt and her bra underneath it. He had missed kissing her so much, he almost forgot what it was like. Rufus swirled his tongue around hers and Lily moved her left hand to his cheek. She caressed his cheek softly with her thumb, loving how nothing seemed to change between the two of them. All she wanted (needed, even) was to be with him. To be around him, to smell him, feel him, love him. To have his body pressed against hers, his face buried in her hair, his mouth all over her skin. To be the way they were before everything getting so screwed up. His mouth moved to her neck and she just threw her head back, not really caring about anything but them.

She grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and got him out of it, desperate to feel him. He got the hint and took her out of her jacket and then her shirt. She moved to his lap and felt his groan against her neck. She shivered. He picked her up and Lily desperately wraped her long legs around his torso. They were tumbling around the loft in a heated union, their mouths glued to each other.

He gently placed her in his bed, separating their mouths as his hand found the ziper of her jeans and he got her out of it. She was now standing only in black bra and underwear. He honestly never thought they would be in that position again. She smirked at him, knowing what he was thinking. "Come here" she whispered. He smiled and shaked his head lightly as he obliged. She kissed him with all she got and opened his ziper. He helped her getting his pants and boxers off and turned them around so she was on top. She gasped quietly and bit back a moan as she felt him licking her earlobe. His hands were now at her back, not only steading her, but also trying to take her bra off. As he succeeded he threw it at the floor. Her hands roamed his toned chest and she felt him shiver. They looked at each other's eyes and it was like 20 years ago. He kissed her mouth fully and helped her take her panties off. She positioned herself on top of him and eased his erection inside her, moaning instantly. He pressed his lips on hers and felt her going deeper and deeper and pulling back slightly, Lily teased him over and over again.

Rufus then flipped them over, so he was on top. Her hands were on his back as he slowly entered her yet again. Their lips are now barely touching and they are breathing each other's air. She captures his lower lip and sucks it, deepening the kiss when she hears his breathy moan. Gripping her hips, he ground into her with tender force. Lily rose up to meet his deep thrusts. Wrapping her long and smooth legs around his waist, she trailed her the tips of her nails up and down the small of his back, making him tremble. As she felt his thrusts become more and more intense she laid back, wondering when was the last time she felt so good. "God, Rufus" she breathed. He continued his thrusts, enjoying the effects his actions were having on her. He kissed her, he couldn't get enough of her. She opened her mouth to receive his tongue, lost in sensation of their pounding hips. Her heart was racing and felt a warmth that pooled at the base of her abdomen. Threads of pleasure slid down her legs, into every toe. He held her close as she moaned his name in ecstasy. He came soon after, moaning into her mouth. They made eye contact and smiled at each other. Their breathing was under control, but both felt worn out. He gently eased himself out of her and laid next to her. Lily felt on top of the world at that moment, not that she would ever tell him that. Rufus saw her smiling and asked "What?" smiling himself. She looked at him and her eyes lit up. She chuckled. "Nothing. I'm just glad I'm here." He beamed at her sincerity. "Me too." He took her in his arms and felt her interwine their legs.

"Good night, Rufus." She murmured sleeply, caressing his feet with her own.

"Good night, Lil." He responded in the same fashion way. Both fell asleep soon after, feeling more happy than ever.

**A/N:** That's it for now! I know this chapter was pure sex, but I needed this. The next one will probably be the famous "morning after". Thank you so much for reading and please leave a review!


	3. Chapter 3

**FINALLY, CHAPTER 3**

**A/N: **Hello! I'm so sorry for this huge delay. The last time I posted here was May, and now it's January, 2016! I apologize. I received new reviews recently so I decided to continue this. I am sorry if this is not what you guys expect, but I did my best. Thank you for the reviews and please keep making them, they make me smile! I hope you enjoy.

Lily woke up to the light coming from his bedroom window.

Her back stood against his chest, his strong arms circled her waist, she could feel his soft yet hot breath on her ear and she felt safe. Unlike her other lovers, Lily felt like she belonged. Like there was no other place she was supposed to be. That's all she's wanted to do, she realizes. For them to be warm and gentle together. To not be able to say where she ends and he begins.

This time she cannot run away. Even if she wanted to.

She turned around to face him and heard him murmur something she couldn't quite understand but that made her giggle quietly to herself. She traced the outline of his handsome face, trying to capture everything that she had missed these twenty years. She runs her fingers to his hair (that smells just like she remembered) and her eyes turn to his lips. His soft, luscious lips, that reminded her of happiness. Lily pecked his lips softly then, trying to see if he would wake up. It's when she sees a pair of green eyes staring back at her. Apparently he wasn't that sleepy.

They both stayed silent for a moment- the moment was too significant to be destroyed by a simple "good morning". He strokes some messy sex hair out of her face and kisses her. Softly. She feels lucky.

"Hi." He whispered after a while. She could see the hint of a smile forming on his face.

"Hi." She whispered back with a smile of her own.

"It's been a while." Rufus' smile is flirty and nostalgic. And although it hasn't been a while, because they have literally slept together this past night, she knows exactly what he means. The _"It's been awhile since we've loved each other, since we've touched each other" _is right there for her to decode. And- like every time -she does.

"I know." Lily responded. She can't take the tension anymore so she climbs on top of him, feels his strong hands embrace her back and kisses him with everything she's got. She loves him and needs him to know that. Even with all the mess that have yet to bear (their kids, his wife), she needs to know that she has him.

"What are we going to do now, Rufus?" She says between kisses. She feels his mouth move to her throat and a delicious familiar throb run down between her legs. He looks back up at her and she can see disappointment in his eyes, but doesn't let it get to her, they have to talk about this and sooner is way better than later.

"I'm not staying with Alison, if that's what you're asking." He says gently and she knows he didn't mean it in a hurtful way, but she can help but feel upset. If everything had gone the way it was supposed to 20 years ago they wouldn't have to worry about that. If she hadn't left, who knows where they could be right now? But then again, they wouldn't have their children. This was hard. So, so hard.

"That's…that's good." Lily says, because it really is. She knows they have a lot to deal with from now on, but the fact that Alison won't be in the picture makes this a lot more easier.

He looks at her and she feels loved. How is she supposed to live without this?

"I don't know what we're gonna do." He whispers, looking down and she notices the uneasiness in his voice. "But I don't think I can give this up, Lil." He looks back at her with something in his eyes that are not familiar. _Is he nervous?_

Like he had said the night before, how _can_ he be sure that she's not going to leave again? She knows the question behinds his statement. For the first time in their rocky relationship she feels the need to reassure him. She never had to do that before, not really, because he was always sure of himself. He was a rockstar, for God's sake. As far as she knew, rockstars didn't need reassurance.

"Neither can I, Rufus." She whispers quietly, but certain. "I… we have to see what we're going to do about the kids and your marriage, but… in the mean time... we can… we could…" She trails off. Rambling. She is rambling. She's nervous too and hopes he gets it.

"Oh. We… we can? I mean… yeah. Until we figure this all out… we can… see each other." He says, just as nervous. What was going on with them?

"Yeah… yeah." She whispers. He got it. He got her. One of the many reasons he's the love of her life, she realizes. The old Lily would shield herself for thinking this, but he is Rufus and she's known it for the first time he said he loved her.

"Okay". Rufus says back. He's happy she agreed with this arrangement, but, really, he would do anything she asked for. He loves her, never stopped. And he is in it too deep to even think of doing anything else that doesn't please her. He head is a mess, he's thinking of everything and anything at the same time. He looks at her lips then. Figuring this out could wait. Right now, Lily was naked in his bed, her lips slightly bruised from his kisses of the night before, her eyes have a sparkle in them and her hair smells amazing, just like he remembered.

He slides his hand through her blonde hair and they look at each other. She knows the subject is closed for now, and waits for what's to come. She shivers as caresses her hair slowly, like they had all the time in the world. His right hand goes to caress her jaw line, then her chin and then her lips. He presses a small kiss there, and then pulls away for an instant, to see her reaction. He sees her eyes closed, even though their lips are not touching any more, and when she starts to open her eyelids his lips are in hers again, this time for good, to stay. They devour each other and she presses her palms to his cheek caressing his face.

She runs her hand through his brows and can feel that they are furrowed, like he's giving his all. Like he's working hard to express that they are going to be okay. And she loves him for it.

A/N: Okay! I hope you guys like this so far. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I definitely plan on keep writing this story. Please review!


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